Random and slightly pointless thoughts: Golf

Ok before I start with this rant, a disclaimer, to all golf fans out there - GET A LIFE!... or at least play a REAL sport, not some daft game pretending to be one. What's next chess?!!?

Fotunately it's not just me that thinks golf is about as exciting as watching the grass grow, which you can do as play if that's what floats your boat. It was that famous American Mark Twain (famous for what I'm not quite sure, didn't he write about Huckleberry Finn or something?) that described golf as, and I quote, "a good walk spoiled". Spot on.

Now it's just not that golf is less exciting than watching paint dry, or your skin age, it's also that some of the terminology it uses is utterly ridiculous too. Let me give you some examples:

Albatross - three strokes under par for a given hole.

What does that have to do with the bird with the largest wingspan?

Birdie - One under par for a hole.

Again, why a bird reference?

Bogey - One over par for a hole.

Well, need I say anymore about this one?

Eagle - two under par for a hole.

Apparently a double Eagle is also an Albatross. Funny, and I always thought double 2 was 4.

Oh don't get me wrong the idiotic names don't end there, it's just I'm getting bored. Here's a few more choice terms (all genuine):

Banana Ball

Chili Dip

Dogleg

Duck Hook

Frog Hair

Gorilla

Greenie

Shag Bag

Shagging

Woodie

Worm Burner

So basically not only is golf exponentially boring, but it was also invented by perverts and/or idiots. And played by them... cough cough TIGER WOODS... cough cough.

God, even ranting about golf is beginning to bore me now. So let me leave it at this anyone who enjoys watching or playing golf clearly hasn't explored all of their entertainment options... or needs to book themself in for a CAT scan. There's so many more interesting things in this world - the Gummy Bears for instance.